Most Rebel-Like

Today was the first day of classes, and I decided to keep writing about my drama classes and adventures in theatre, despite the fact that I don't have to. I think it's important to keep writing about what I learned, and to keep writing in general. It gives me something to really reflect on and I can keep coming back to read about things I have learned and things I need to work on still.

I love that acting classes make me the most and least self-conscious all at the same time. But like Jim said, don't worry about looking stupid, because if we're all doing it, we're all going to look stupid together. Sure it's not profound but it's inspiring nonetheless.

Class began with attendance and a speech of sorts. Then we got up and did some moving. We were instructed to warm up to the music, in anyway we wanted. The first peice of music was flowy and smooth and I felt like interpretive dancing, sort of. I just moved swiftly and slowly and as gracefully as I could. The second peice had a beat and lyrics and it made me smile. It was much easier to move to.

Then we layed down on the floor and began a vocal exercise of sorts. It reminded me so much or Raymon's classes and full open vibration. We were instructed to just "ahhh" for 8 counts. To add a sort of objective Jim told us we were on a roller coaster going up that first hill and into the fall of doom. I hate roller coasters, but it made me laugh because it reminded me of a Jerry Sienfield joke; getting married when you don't want to is like going up that first hill of the roller coaster. I guess you need to see it if you don't think it's funny. Anyway, the exercise ended when we were told to laugh at the end. Apparantly laughing on stage is difficult to do, real laughter that is. At the beginning the laughter was forced, but I couldn't help but actually laugh. I was reminded of Raymon's class again. Once we just laughed for 10 minutes about nothing. And it was genuinely funny, it was real laughter. I am laughing now thinking about it.

We moved into a sort of sharing exercise where we shared what the world and what my world is. I said that the world is corrupt, my oyster, a gift and is being destroyed. I was last and I felt a need to be different, but I wasn't just saying these things to be different. The world is corrupt in my eyes. Everything is about money, how to get it, spend it, change it. Morals don't mean anything to anyone anymore. I guess it's just my religious choices that make me think the world is corrupt, but whatever. It is. The world is my oyster because I can do anything I want, within reason of course. I mean, consequences need to be considered. The world is a gift, life is a gift; we've been given this from the Creator and we need to acknowledge the world for what it is, it's not our own, we didn't create it, yet we are destorying it. I am not a huge 'hippy' tree hugger but I do feel sad every time I see a Subway cup or Pita Pit wrapper on the ground. Genuinly sad. I do the best I can in my situation, I try to recycle and make a conscious effort to think about how long it takes things to decompose.

I shared that my world is loud, moralistic, dangerous, pink and ever-changing. It's loud simply because I am loud. It's moralistic for so many reasons. I have so many morals and this has really been on my mind lately because I have a zero tolerance for things and I have a hard time respecting people who do those things and recently some people who I really looked up and respected did something that I do not agree with and I don't know what I think about them anymore. I know I am being super vague, but you don't need to know everything! It's dangerous because of my past and my.. well I guess disorders. I have generalized anxiety disorder and paranoid personality disorder and these to conditions seriously impair and interfere in my life causing panic attacks, among other things. It gets scary sometimes. It's pink because I love pink. And it's ever changing, which is self explanitory.

It was interesting to hear what everyone else was saying about the world and their world. Someone shared that their world was full of bad things that only make them stronger. I wanted to know what they were talking about, specifically. But obviously it was unreasonable to expect them to share something so personal with people they hardly knew. It was so easy to pick out the optimists in class. As a pessimist, I sort of just dismissed everything they said, but sometimes I do think the world is beautiful, but in my frame of mind, it's easier for me to pick out the bad things.

The purpose behind this listing exercise was a lesson. Jim said that there is safety in lists, and it's true. With one answer it feels like you need to justify yourself, but with a list, people get lost and reasons don't really seem to matter. You can't be out there on stage during the 5th show of a run and reciting your lines like their a list. They need justification and energy.

We began a singing exercise. Jim told us to sing O Canada. After we finished, he told us we sang it like it was a list. And we did. I remember thinking that we sounded awful (not our singing voices!) because we seriously lacked enthusiasm. He told us to sing it again with more gusto, but we still weren't up to scratch. He decided to add a situation to give us a motive. We were POW's in a dingy cell (ala Hostel three apparantly). We were all Canadians being held prisoners in our own country due to some sort of take over (someone said from the Germans, I had to laugh). The key thing was that singing O Canada was outlawed. The last person to sing it was dragged away and presumably killed. If we sang it, soldiers would come in and get us.

So, we sang. And honestly, I don't remember what happened when because we sang it so many times. The time that stands out in my mind was when we all gathered on one side of the room and had our arms over each other, a real sort of rebellion. It felt passionate, but something was missing, and I noticed it before Jim pointed it out. No one was responding. I was the person who was supposed to start the song in this cell. No one was reacting to the fact that this person was singing an outlawed song that was going to get them killed. The last time we did it I remember emphasizing the "free" part of the song. I'm sure harmonized isn't the word, but I tried to emphasize it. It felt good.

Then we went over the course outline and et cetera.

I think I am really going to enjoy this class. I am glad to see familiar faces, and to meet new ones too.

In This Summer Air

So I guess I will start off this day of posts with an explaination of my summer theatrical exploits. First off, I was in Saskatoon Summer Players production of Seussical the Musical. Then I was in Single and Sexy (later renamed to The Real World: University of Saskatchewan, much to the dismay of the cast) which was performed at the first day of Orientation.

So, Seussical. I had already done Seussical when I auditioned for it, and I was very nervous. I knew one person who was auditioning and mostly I am not comfortable with my own singing voice. I practiced like mad. I got a friend who played Gertrude (the female lead) in my high school's production of it to send me the sheet music for the audition song (Notice Me Horton) and I borrowed my roomate's keyboard. I have no idea how to play piano. I labelled the keys and highlighted all the notes that were the same, it looked ridiculous, but it worked. Anyway, I got a part in the chorus, which I was GLAD to accept.

Into the rehearsal process now, pain in the ass. We moved three times and it was so confusing. I had so much trouble picking up on choreography because I missed the first few rehearsals. I was also having trouble not singing when it wasn't my part. In my first run of the show, I was a bird girl and I couldn't stop singing thier parts, it was kind of embarrassing, but I did it absent mindedly. Anyway, as much as I felt like we weren't ready for the show, we got through it. Despite... interupptions.

Now, I work(ed) in a kitchen during the run and I have a severe and annoying allergy to cilantro (AKA corriander). During the first Saturday show, the cooks made a cilantro covered chicken and a curry soup (curry powder includes ground coriander). I can't touch it OR eat it. I swore I was so careful, but I must have eaten it because I got so sick and spent lots of numbers in the bathroom. I missed lots of numbers too. It was awful.

All in all I would say it was an enjoyable experience and I made so many new friends. <3

On to Single and Sexy now. This is going to sound super lame, but the casting story makes me happy. When I went to Orientation in my first year and saw this play, I almost died laughing. My Seager friends and I referenced it all year, quoting and whatnot. When I auditioned for it I was so excited, I wanted to be a part of it so bad. It was weeks before the director got in touch with anybody and he had all the roles cast but one. Now, this one couldn't be decided upon and it was a female role. I wanted it so bad.

I recieved an email from the director and he voiced his casting woes. His associate in casting, the old victim advocate, did not want to cast me in the last role. But he did. The reasoning for not casting me was that on my audition sheet, I said I was not comfortable with homosexuality. But between the time of auditioning and this email, I had had some sort of brain wave and completley accepted homosexuality; my religious convictions were holding me back but when I relized that God loves homosexuals as much as the most religious, I had to end my dislike for them. It's sort of complicated, but it happened. I remember the day I marched into the Pride Centre and delcared an end to my tyranny and discrimination of homosexuals and got my ally button. Anyway, I told the director my long winded story and I was cast! As soon as he told me, I started crying. That's the lame part. I love this play so much and to be cast was amazing.

The rehearsal process started sometime in early summer with a few table reads, and then nothing until a very intensive August. There's really nothing to say about it, it was rehearsing. It was angering when people didn't know their shit, it was embarassing when I didn't know my shit. Jokes were made, friendships were built. Which I was so happy for. I was working with some truly amazing actors and people who I look up to a lot. I am pleased that I got to work with them once before they graduated.

Show day came and I felt like shit. I don't think I was nervous, until about two seconds before I went on. Haha. But we did it, and it was awesome. The audience ate it up and laughed and cried (on the inside). It was so much fun. I wish we could do it again, even though we all kept saying it was lame and whatnot.

I am really enjoying the 'fame' that is coming as a result of the show. Well, at least I am famous amonst the first years. When I was walking home after the show people kept telling me it was awesome. I was on campus last night and when I was leaving around 10:30, a few people were like "HEY YOU! Were you in the show at orientation?" Of course I responded yes and they started cheering and shouting that it was awesome and hilarious.

I hope I get a chance to do the show again next year and maybe one year direct it. Don't make fun of my dreams.