Thou Stand'st Single
Tonight we started with the same opening ritual, but this time we included the cat. Grr! I really don’t like the cat. Maybe it’s my lack of upper body strength combined with my desire to not want to look stupid. It’s a shell I can’t break out of. I have a constant need to impress people, which probably stems from my fear of people hating me. Anyway, enough of my impressive sounding psychobabble and onto class.
I don’t remember much of what we did, but I remember lining up along the wall with a partner on the other side of the wall. We ran up to them and sort of yelled in their face. We would start really low and rise up as we ran across to them. When we go to our partners we would have our arms up and out and they would hug us. Then we would shrink back and go back to our wall and they would do the same to us. We did this for a while.
Then we explored open vibration again. But this time it was super intense. We were all standing around in a group and then Raymon would point to people and everyone else would stop while they kept going. He said it was so we would get to hear our own vibration filling the room. I was scared. Being in choir and in a competitive musical program I felt the pressure to outdo everyone and sound the best. But that’s also the perfectionist in me. I was afraid people would tell me I sounded terrible or laugh at me. So every time Raymon would turn in my direction, I would start freaking out. It made it worse that I was one of the last ones because I was so scared the entire time.
But that’s how I act too. I get really nervous before the show starts and then when I say my first few lines I start to relax and get into it. Then I just get so comfortable it drives me crazy when I am not speaking and I get sad when the show is over. I guess I am just weird that way.
I just feel like I need to get sometime off my chest here. I am really sick of the people that come to like, half the classes and then come and don’t care. Or the people that come but don’t want to be there. You can tell by their lack of participation and effort. I feel like these people are bringing me down and that they don’t deserve to be in this class if they don’t want to learn.
[end rant]
Tonight we started with the same opening ritual, but this time we included the cat. Grr! I really don’t like the cat. Maybe it’s my lack of upper body strength combined with my desire to not want to look stupid. It’s a shell I can’t break out of. I have a constant need to impress people, which probably stems from my fear of people hating me. Anyway, enough of my impressive sounding psychobabble and onto class.
I don’t remember much of what we did, but I remember lining up along the wall with a partner on the other side of the wall. We ran up to them and sort of yelled in their face. We would start really low and rise up as we ran across to them. When we go to our partners we would have our arms up and out and they would hug us. Then we would shrink back and go back to our wall and they would do the same to us. We did this for a while.
Then we explored open vibration again. But this time it was super intense. We were all standing around in a group and then Raymon would point to people and everyone else would stop while they kept going. He said it was so we would get to hear our own vibration filling the room. I was scared. Being in choir and in a competitive musical program I felt the pressure to outdo everyone and sound the best. But that’s also the perfectionist in me. I was afraid people would tell me I sounded terrible or laugh at me. So every time Raymon would turn in my direction, I would start freaking out. It made it worse that I was one of the last ones because I was so scared the entire time.
But that’s how I act too. I get really nervous before the show starts and then when I say my first few lines I start to relax and get into it. Then I just get so comfortable it drives me crazy when I am not speaking and I get sad when the show is over. I guess I am just weird that way.
I just feel like I need to get sometime off my chest here. I am really sick of the people that come to like, half the classes and then come and don’t care. Or the people that come but don’t want to be there. You can tell by their lack of participation and effort. I feel like these people are bringing me down and that they don’t deserve to be in this class if they don’t want to learn.
[end rant]
posted by Jennifer at 8:55 PM
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